Where Are My Fellow Perfectionists At? It's Time For Us To Let Go
Have you heard of the enneagram? Or maybe the DISC assessment? They are both essentially personality/behavioral assessments. I’ve taken the DISC several times over the past 15 years (and I am actually a certified DISC trainer). The enneagram is the new kid on the block which I’ve heard so many of my friends and clients talk about their results. What I love about these assessments is most often you get a pretty good indicator of where your strengths and areas of challenge are.
The thing is, I am a bit late to the game when it comes to the enneagram. I just never took the time to sit down, find a dependable resource, and take the assessment to see my results. Well, that was until last week when I was asked to share what enneagram number I was. Based on the title of today’s message, would it shock you that I rated highest as a 7 (enthusiastic visionary) and a 1 (the perfectionist)???
Quite frankly, I feel torn over my enneagram results, I feel as though they are in competition of one another and of the woman I am working towards becoming. I see truth in pieces of both but not in all aspects of my life. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist (and now confirmed), yes, I tend to be extremely self-critical. In certain areas of my life I am a rule/procedure follower and everywhere else, I am exactly the opposite - I am a rule breaker, a rebel who loves to think outside the box and I want to help women thrive in that area as well. For my 7 side, oh yes, highly optimistic is without a doubt what I’m known for. You can expect me to always find the silver lining and help you try and see it too.
As I read both descriptions, I found it funny because it sounded like the 1 and 7 are complete opposites. More on the 7, I am a major goofball and will always say something funny or silly to break the ice (imagine me doing my finest impression of Steve Erkel!). I find the joy in life and want to always experience it. I’m a rule-breaking, procedural nerd, who crosses all the i’s and t’s perfectly (or so I think), while seeking adventure and the positive things in life! I wear my heart on my sleeve and I believe in integrity and values.
Now I have a choice, I can choose to allow these “test” results to dominate my mind and thoughts as I wrestle through what they really mean. I can fight them tooth and nail or I can be an observer. Picking out the bits and pieces I choose to be my truth and let the rest fall at the wayside. Truth be told, as a perfectionist that can be tough right?
The thing is, we don’t have to do it alone. We can have accountability partners that help us grow in the areas we feel we want to expand in. Work with a friend who is also working on some goals or partner with a coach like me who can walk you through your results and help you form habits that will get you to take actionable steps.
I hope as you read this, if you are a perfectionist or know someone who is, that you can be a bit more understanding. Maybe you can relate a little more and then learn to recognize that perfection is really just an excuse.
Yup, I said it, perfection is just an excuse. It’s a way to hide, hold back or keep to ourselves. The underlying truth about perfection is it’s wrapped in fear and holds us back from taking action. In fact, it’s quite devastating.
Perfection is an excuse
Perfection is a disguise
Perfection is limiting
It’s time to take some actual control back into our lives and resist the urge to be perfect in everything we do or say. I know it’s not easy, but as I always share, it’s time to take baby steps to generate some momentum.
Whether it’s the way your dishwasher is loaded
To the precise color of font on your website
Or the perfectly planned week
It’s time to let go of the smaller things so you can focus on the bigger things.
Again, I know it’s not easy but it’s a starting point. You can tune into this episode to hear for yourself a little bit about my perfectionist tendencies and how I’ve learned to release the guilt over it.
I give you a couple tips you can implement in your day to help get you into action. I look forward to hearing from you on what your takeaways from the episode are.
If you’ve wondered what the DiSC is or want a more in depth assessment of your behavioral style, then let’s chat. Fill out the form here to get a little more information about the DiSC and how it can be beneficial to you. If you are curious about taking a DISC assessment with me, this is the ideal time to get started.