• Susie Aguilar

Spouse Sabotaging Your Business? Take These Steps To Gain Control!

Sometimes there is something working against us that honestly, we don’t even realize. Even with the most supporting and loving spouse, they could actually be harming your growth unintentionally. If you’re ready to find ways to regain control, this episode is for you!

The truth is, sometimes we are so wrapped up in the day to day details that we just don’t even see opportunities for us to carve out time for important things. That’s where having a fresh set of eyes to see things from the outside in can be of value. I think it is one of the biggest perks of having a coach that is evaluating and keeping you accountable. That my friends is what I can help you with. I can objectively see some things that you may be unaware of and bring them to light.

I offer 1:1 strategy sessions where we can hammer out a plan of action that is going to set you’re momentum on overdrive. If you’re ready, then head over to https://www.unorthodoxbusinessmom.com/contactme and let’s get you on the books for August.

If you want to continue the conversation and learn more free tips and have a good time with like-minded women, then it’s time for you to join us in the She Embraces FEAR Movement group. What are you waiting for, come hang out with me!

We are fierce women and we deserve to chase after what fuels us, now let’s do this!

Come on by and connect with me on:

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Learn more at www.unorthodoxbusinessmom.com

All My Love,

Susie Q

~ Prefer reading? Below is the full show transcript ~

It's almost the weekend friends who is ready for today's episode? Today, we're talking about something that could make you feel a little uncomfortable. Sometimes there is something just working against us that honestly, we don't even realize even with the most supporting and loving spouse, they could actually be harming your growth unintentionally. If you're ready to find a ways to regain control this episode is for you.

Are you sitting there with your jaw dropped saying, wow, did Susie really go there? Yup. You better believe it. I adore my husband and he's been really supportive of various endeavors over the years, but I also want to be transparent and say that it's not always been so easy. I mainly want to focus on business growth here, but I think that this is something that can be applied to any part of your life. And I'm going to share that with you by one of my own examples of how this panned out for me and my day to day, just recently in the last week.

And it's just going to give you a little glimpse into my life that hopefully you can relate to your own. I've been on this ultra restrictive eating plan for about two weeks now. I've been feeling really good following all the foods, having my workouts, preparing everything, and my husband even decided to join it with me. So it's great. We're going strong. I'm planning out my meals, meal prepping and so on. Right?

All the things that go into that I'm a week and a half in, and he wants to eat, take out, which in no way aligns with what I've been doing. As far as my food plan. However, when this happened, I was just stressing about life in general, my emotions we're feeling yucky. At this point, I was all over the place. Just feeling miserable, to be quite honest. And what ended up happening? I caved in, I ate the food. That was absolutely terrible for me. Then I feel bad about it for days on end. Right? Because I figure out, I figure that I might as well just restart my diet so that I can use it. Use it as an excuse to eat more junk food, and then just do it all over again. Any one of you raising your hand or shaking your head going, Oh my gosh, I know exactly what you're talking about. Ultimately, it's just a vicious cycle that really isn't pretty. And I don't think that my husband did it intentionally to sabotage me, but he knew what my goals have been with my health to him. It's something minor and probably silly in his mind that I shouldn't get worked up over it for me. I get frustrated with myself. I'm not mad at him.

I met at me. I'm mad for not standing firm in what I wanted to do and just sticking with what was important to me, which quite frankly is to heal my body. The plan is one that I'm working on that specific to myself, my gut health, my situation going on in my life. And I just want to heal myself so that I can feel better. So I can be back to my full strength and feeling really good about myself. Anyhow, I could go on about that for a long time, right? You guys have heard about this in the past, but what I really want you to focus on here is can you see this in other areas of your life? And more specifically, if you're working on growing a business, have you ever noticed anything like this happening? Each one of our situations is a very different.

Some of us I know are working our nine to five, just like me. And we're trying to grow a passion project or a side hustle. Some of us already launched our business full time and we just need to really focus on what we're doing to make it grow. Most of the women that I chat to about this don't think that their spouses are sabotaging their businesses on purpose most of the time. And I want to emphasize most of the time. Cause sometimes they are right. And that's a whole separate topic.

I'm going to help you with a few steps that you can implement to gain control back. Let's say that your spouse and you both work full time, plus you're working on building your business. Let's just add to the mix. You also have kiddos. So for this example, this woman is tapped out on her time, right?

She's got a whole lot going on that she is trying to juggle. You know, I love chatting all things time blocking and time management. And that's honestly the key to success for this woman who is doing all the things, especially now when our kiddos are home 24 seven and you and your spouse might be too. So there's a lot of us at home trying to do a lot of different things. It can become chaotic. So here's a couple tips for you. The first one, if you start to notice this trend is I want you to set the stage. If you notice any self-sabotaging things that you're doing, it's time to address it. But then it's also a good opportunity to communicate this with your spouse. This doesn't mean that we're pointing the finger and we're yelling at them and blaming them as to why you can't eat healthy or why your business just isn't profiting.

I think if we are fully transparent and honest with ourselves here, we probably have some role in this too. Like in the example I gave you, I was guilty of saying yes, instead of going to a prepackaged meal that I had, you know, meal prepped earlier in the week, or simply making myself a salad. I was feeling lazy. I was exhausted. My energy was drained. My emotions are scattered. I used it as a, as a way to just cope with it was by eating bad food. Didn't help me, but I can't put that blame on anyone else. I take ownership of that myself. And I know that I do that and I have to own that fact. And I also give myself grace because sometimes we just make a poor choice and we have to learn how to own that and learn how to move on the next time.

When you discuss it with your spouse express, what your goals are, share why it's important to you and how this is going to benefit your family. Go back to episode 45, or I go into more details about having an unsupportive spouse. If you need some extra tips in this area. The next thing that I want to focus on is if we have kiddos, I see a couple options for us here that we can dive into. The first one is, can your spouse commit to keeping them busy and occupied for one hour every day? If your kids are older, maybe you can step into a different room in your home to focus on those money, making activities that aren't going to actually move your business forward. If that's a no, and you can't do that because the little ones will run into your office or into that room in your home, then can you just leave the house?

And I mean, literally drive your car to the park or an empty parking lot and just park there and do those things that you need to do in your business. Uninterrupted. You can just drive down to the end of your block and park there, even though your neighbors might be wondering or suspicious about you hanging out there. But the truth is how can you get that uninterrupted time where you can solely focus in and be intentional about the work you need to get done and just hammer it out in that one hour, doing this really helps eliminate distraction and interruptions. And for me, the beauty of it is that it gives you a chance to really enjoy and soaking your time with your family when you do get back home, or when you step back into the family room, because you aren't stressing about what needs to get done in your business, your mind, isn't preoccupied with that to do list and all the other things that need to happen.

Otherwise the alternative is you're sporadically trying to do work between diaper changes and preparing snacks that you'll never feel accomplished. Even if it's a 15 or 30 minute window, that your spouse can give you it's something and focus on using it wisely. The second option, if your spouse, you know, is not able to help for whatever reason, then I like to call this bartering or swapping childcare. This is where you ask another mom. That's also got kiddos. She's probably struggling just like you are. Can you one day offer to take her kids to the park for maybe a lunch or a dinner break so that she can go and do something that she needs to do. And then the next day you trade and swap and she takes your kids to the park and you get to focus on your business and those activities that truly matter.

And I know that I'm focusing on business here, but just a little tidbit as well. I would add into this is your own self care. Maybe you use that time for your own self care and it's not selfish. Us mamas need that time. So you choose if it's working on your business, if it's self care, if it's splitting it and doing 50 50 part of it is self care part of it business, but I want you to focus and use that time as best as you can. And overall, what I'm trying to say here is that this is a time for us to be creative and resourceful. We need to think outside the box and find ways to get that needed block of time, to do the things that you need to do. And then the third thing I want to share with you is that sometimes none of these things that I've shared with you may be an available option, right?

Or they just don't work for you then guess what? This is where you have to get more resourceful and be very open about this in your reflection, as you think about the ways you can implement more time in your business, one of the ways is can you wake up while the rest of the family is sleeping? Or can you stay up when they're all in bed? I know that this is really hard, but no one ever said that building a business and achieving your goals was going to be handed to you and really easy speaking for myself here. One of my favorite times of my day is in the early morning, you've heard me share before I wake up at 4:30 every single day. And that's because I want my time for myself to do some reflection, some journaling, some meditation, my workout, those things that are priority to me, I get done first thing in the morning while everyone else is sleeping, because then I have to get ready for my regular Workday and prepare myself for that.

So I like to take my time to just kind of wake up kind of slow, take my time, not feel rushed, get ready for the day, prepare myself with what's to come and then do a couple of things for my business before I ever leap into my nine to five. And that is the most focused, intentional time that I have. And it's great because I don't feel like I'm missing out on time with the family. I don't do the late nights only because I'm tired since I wake up so early, but I have done that in the past, especially when I was studying for my bachelor and master's degree. I had to be creative with my time. So I just want to encourage you that you might lose a little bit of sleep right now in this season of life, but it'll be so worth it in the long run. And I just want to remind you of that. It is completely possible!

With that. My question to you is what sacrifices are you willing to make now so that you can reap the rewards later? The grit it takes to push through these hurdles is what will get you through in the long-term. I promise that on the other side of the current pain that you're going to feel is untapped potential and growth. I believe in you and I'm cheering you on. I know that you can do it and now it's time for you to believe that you can do it too.

And just to be really honest here, sometimes we are so wrapped up in the day to day details that we just don't even see opportunities for us to carve out the time for important things. That's where having a fresh set of eyes to see things from the outside in can be of most value. I think it's one of the biggest perks of having a coach that is evaluating and keeping you accountable. That my friends is what I can help you with. I can objective really see some things that you may be unaware of and by bringing them to light, you have that awesome aha moment that I love to see my clients experience. And do you know what I'm talking about here? It's that moment when something is said and revealed to you that you just say, wow, had I known or seen this sooner?

I wouldn't have been spinning my wheels this entire time. Am I right? That can be so frustrating. And my friend, please stop struggling and fighting to figure this out on your own I one on one strategy sessions where we can hammer out a plan of action that is going to set your momentum on overdrive. And no, I won't lie and say, you won't have any work to do. Your progress is dependent on you. Now it's up to you to decide how important this dream is for you. If you're ready, then head on over to the link in the show notes at unorthodox business, mom.com forward slash contact dash me, and let's get you on the books for August, because I only have a few spots left!

To wrap up the show, I want to share this week's five star review. And you know how I love to share quotes with you. That's coming up, too.

This review is titled: Expand your comfort zone by I am RO Thomas and her five star review says:

“I may not quite be the target listener because I enjoy my job, but I've been dipping my toe in the entrepreneurial waters. The last few months, this podcast has so many strategies and tips for how to push past the inevitable fear and just do the thing love Susie's approach and all of the encouragement on this show. Fear is a liar! Expand your comfort zone and go after your dreams."

Wow! RO this is a phenomenal testimonial to hear from you because we know that not every person that we speak to is exactly the person that we're always trying to help. Right? We might have one person in mind that we want to help in their journey, but knowing that the nuggets are helping you in your own journey, as you start to explore this entrepreneurship space really puts a huge smile on my face, because I know that it could be so difficult to feel like we're just sitting there all alone and not able to make momentum or make some progress because fear will rear its ugly head. Am I right? And I'm glad that these tips have been helping you. So thank you for this amazing feedback.

Now today's quote comes from Bryant McGill and Bryant says:

“Quit saying you don't have time. You have time for what you make time for in life.”

Ladies, this episode really was about us being honest and focusing our attention on where we can make those little course corrections. I know that it's not easy. I know that sometimes we can feel like putting the blame on someone else might be the easiest or least amount of resistance, right? But we have to be reflective, be honest ourselves and realize where we may or may not be putting our attention on if it's on the wrong things. Now I'm not saying there aren't spouses out there that haven't been supportive of you. And if that's your situation, then all I can say is that I am cheering for you regardless of what challenges you are faced with, but just know that if you are relentless in your pursuit of this success in your life, you can, and you will overcome any barrier that's in your way. I promise you that we just have to be persistent and continue on this journey to march forward.

And how do we do that is by controlling the things we can control. And today that is our time. How can we be resourceful? How can we be mindful? And how can we just squeeze things in here, in there and all those little pockets of time that we have, maybe it's your lunch break. If you go to an office space currently, then your lunch break is going to be your power half hour or your power hour. However long your lunch break is you have got to dig in deep and say, this is more important to me and I'm going to make time for it.

Be honest with yourself, take some time to reflect and let's just do it. Let's just be those things, strong, bold women that I know you all are as my listeners and start to do the work, take action, find those little nooks and crannies of time and let's do the thing. I'm so grateful that you're here. I appreciate you tuning in. And if you've been listening to the show, please stop on by, on Instagram. And let me know that you've been tuning in. You can tag me in your stories or just drop me a DM so that we can have a conversation. Thanks again. I'm your host, Susie Q signing off.

Hey Lovely ~ Before you go, are you wanting to dive deeper on how to embrace your fears and pivot in your life and career? I have free resources and tools for you!

  • Something I share about is the importance of setting a foundation and boundaries in our life and career. We do that by identifying our values and I have a free worksheet you can download if you are ready to pinpoint them in either English or Spanish.

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