• Susie Aguilar

Negativity Consuming You? Know When To Disconnect

Updated: Jun 23, 2020

There are moments in which we need to realize we are doing ourselves a disservice and it’s time to disconnect. I found myself consumed with negativity and heartbroken over the terrible murder of George Floyd. I recognized that I got sucked into a downward spiral of information overload and simply, felt miserable. While I may not say the right words or have the ability to express myself perfectly, the one thing I hope you take away from this episode is my compassion. My love of humanity, my desire to overflow with love and my craving to be part of the solution to make change happen.

In this episode I’m pouring my heart out, reminding you that sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to STEP AWAY. I try to always focus on the goodness in the world and highlight the positivity, yet, the reality is there is a lot of injustice happening around us. I’m starting by first giving love, I’m communicating as best as I can, and I am LISTENING to educate myself. I don’t have all the answers and I am not perfect, but I am open minded and loving. It’s the best I have to offer in this moment and I hope that you can keep an open mind, too. It’s the first of many steps, we have to start somewhere.

I love you all, I am grateful for you showing up and I hope that you give yourself grace as we all work to understand how to be better together.

With all my love,

Susie Q

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~ If you prefer reading, I'm also including the full show transcripts below ~

Hi, my beautiful friends. A couple weeks ago, I recorded a different kind of episode on a Wisdom Wednesday. In fact, on the day of recording, it was actually blackout Tuesday. My tone was a little bit different. And if you've been keeping up with what's going on in the world, everything around us, it's absolutely heartbreaking. And I just don't have the right words to say right now.

If you've been keeping up with the show over the last couple of weeks, I've really taken a deep dive into goal setting and helping you achieve the things that you're working towards. But I just couldn't see myself talking about that and focusing on something which right now feels irrelevant and not important with what's going on around us. This episode wasn't intended to be political or anything of that nature. This was me speaking from my heart, letting you know that I don't know what to say.

I don't have the right words or the right expressions to share. But what I do have is a lot of love, a lot of compassion and a heart that's aching with everything that's going on around us. If you've tuned into the show in the past, you know that I am a huge proponent of speaking our truth and of also stepping away when we need to, because it can become very easy to get consumed, to let everything around us, just swallow us up.

And that can be anything from social media., the news, and every other form of input. That could be a bad habit. It could be, any external factor. And that's where I found myself the day prior to recording this episode. I found myself at this point where I watched the news for hours on end, it broke my heart, seeing everything that's going on. My very best friend is an extremely beautiful African American woman with, as we call a Heinz 57, a mixture of beautiful other ethnicities.

And my heart just hurts because I don't even know what to tell my best friend or how to say things without feeling like I might say the wrong thing. So this is my reminder to you that we're always going to be judged. Our opinions are always going to be taken in whatever way the receiver wants to take it.

For me, it starts out by reaching out and telling my friend how much I love her and how in pain I am for what this world is doing for what our own country is doing or not doing. And that we have to stand together. Whether you agree with that or not, that's your choice. You have the ability to choose what matters to you and what you believe in. And I do too. This is my space to share with you my observations. And it's up to you to decide how you receive that.

As you know, I share business and personal development tips, which potentially, you may not agree with. That's okay. I'm allowed to have my own opinion or perspective. You're allowed to have your own opinion and perspective as well. And that's the beauty of having our freedoms. So, I urge you to consider and have an open mind.

I've seen many of my friends and people that I admire talk about getting educated just as we tune into podcasts for, personal growth, business growth, career growth, and all different types of categories, right? Well, this is a topic that our world needs more education on, more understanding, more compassion. And I don't know the perfect words. I will never say that I have the exact right way to handle things for different situations in my own life. Absolutely not. I'll never say that. But what I do have is nothing but love.

And I think that it all starts in our heart. Anything that can be good, starts with pure intentions and pure compassion. And I'm not gonna apologize for that. And I hope that you don't either. I hope that you tune in and find the resources that help you make sense of everything that's going on in our world. Not only have we been faced with insurmountable confusion in regards to the pandemic, right? The pandemic has had us all on edge, all uncomfortable, not knowing what to do.

Then this man, his life was taken away. And that to me, just hits on a whole different level. My friends, it made me recognize that we need to understand that we have to do something. I don't know the right thing. I'm educating myself along with all of you. But for me, it starts out by reaching out to my friend, by reaching out to the people that I know that are hurting the most, because I think a lot of us are hurting.

I balled all day yesterday, hearing the stories of what's going on around us, hearing George Floyd's brother, speak about him, absolutely tore my heart, just putting myself in their shoes of losing a loved one. I can't even imagine the pain. So please keep that in mind. As you see what's going on around us to recognize that we're all entitled to our opinions, we're all entitled to think what we want to think. Absolutely. That's the beauty of having a choice.

At the same time, remember the words that we say or the words that we type, those inflict emotion, they can inflict pain, they can inflict anger. And I just ask you to be mindful and before we go in, say things that maybe we'll regret later, let's think about that first. And if we say something and it gets taken out of proportion, you know, we're trying our very best.

I think that's the very best thing that I can say on, speaking for myself is that, I'm trying my best. I don't have all the answers. I'm trying to control my emotions while also teaching our youngest daughter, how to handle everything that's going on around us. We don't have perfect answers. There is nothing perfect we can say or do, but at the very least we can try and we start small.

We start every single day taking one small step in the direction of making things, right. Of being heard and to listening. Because that's what I'm doing right now is listening. Like I said, if you've listened to my show in the past, I've said sometimes it's easy to get consumed by everything going on around us. That's why I couldn't dive into the previously planned content that I already had in mind or I've been planning out over the last couple of weeks.

It just didn't sit right in my heart. It didn't sit right for the timing of what's going on in the world right now. And quite frankly, I've been consumed. I've been consumed by a lot of negativity, just watching hours upon hours of a lot of things that don't make sense. A lot of hatred, a lot of negativity, and it just hurts. I want you to be able to recognize that you have permission to decide that too. You have permission to decide to disconnect. You have permission to decide when you're going to allow things into your world and not allow things into your world.

I'm allowing positivity. I'm allowing love. I'm allowing compassion, understanding, and education. I want to know how I can be part of this movement, but if I'm just solely focused on one thing, then I don't know if I'm really going to benefit or help the situation. If I'm consumed by just one perspective or a lot of different anger, then I don't know how clear my own judgment and perspective is. So I'm giving myself permission to step away for a little bit.

My promise to you is that I'll show up as me all the time. Every time it may not be perfect. It may not be exactly the right words. I fumble my words a lot. I say things I don't mean to say or for it to come across the wrong way or sound a particular way. But that's called being human. And I think that we are all learning in this together and I hope that we can learn how to move forward together too.

As I was planning out my week (because I couldn't even find the energy to want to plan out my week and to be reflective), I just felt all sorts of yucky feelings. But you know, me, I love to end the show with a quote and coincidentally in my planner, as I was looking at it, trying to figure out what appointments I had this quote is in here by Thomas Jefferson. And he says, "honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom."

And my friends, that's all I can promise you. If you show up here every week for my episodes, I'm going to be honest with you. There's days where I don't want to show up because I'm not feeling like I can inspire you or have anything of value to share. There's times I have to force myself to show up because I know I'm making a commitment to you and I had contemplated whether or not I could show up twice in the same week. Because it's been my promise to you, I still SHOWED up. But I was being honest and truthful and I'm sharing with you the struggles that I am felt. And I think a lot of us are feeling like we're struggling and we're torn and we don't know which direction to pivot next.

It feels like a lot and that's when we have permission and we should give ourselves permission to rest, to reset, to reflect, and to shut it down. And that's what I'm doing. I'm shutting down my social media. I'm shutting down the things that have been distracting me from time with my family, because I've just been consumed. And if you find yourself consumed my friends, I hope that you will give yourself that same permission too. In relationship to that quote by Thomas Jefferson, my planner also goes on to say that:

“Remember that there are only three things in life that you can control.

1. What you think.

2. What you say.

3. What you do this week.

Practice being honest and follow through with everything you say.”

So my friends, I'm following through with what I've shared with you today. I recognized where my emotions have been, how I've been feeling about the world around us and what's happening.

I may not say the right words. I may mess up. I don't mean to do that. I don't intend to do that, but it's possible. It's possible for me to say the wrong thing. And what I think is that I want to see a world that we all are treated equally. I stand United with my friend. I stand United in making change. Learning how to be a part of the solution.

So my friends, I hope that this message demonstrates to you how important honesty really, really matters and how it's the first step in the conversations that we need to start having and opening the doorway for where we start to transition and how we make change. I love you all for being here. I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for tuning in. As I wrap up the show, I'm being very genuine in saying that I don't even know how to wrap it up.

What I can say is that I'm a woman who has always followed her heart has always shared as much love and compassion as humanly possible. And I just want to say thank you for being here. Thank you for tuning in. I hope that this message today resonates with you and that you hear and sense my genuine feeling about making a change and being part of the solution to what's going on around us. I love you all. Thank you.

Hey Lovely ~ Before you go, are you wanting to dive deeper on how to embrace your fears and pivot in your life and career? I have free resources and tools for you!

  • Are you wanting to combat fear? If you said yes, grab your FREE simple handout today!

  • Something I share about is the importance of setting a foundation and boundaries in our life and career. We do that by identifying our values and I have a free worksheet you can download if you are ready to pinpoint them in either English or Spanish.

  • Still feeling stuck after reflecting on these exercises? It’s okay, that happened to me too and until I found clarity, it was really hard to figure out how to pivot in my life and career. As a business and career transition strategist, I mentor you along the way. Together we take a deep dive into the path you want to take and we build a roadmap to get you there. No more struggling or doing this alone. Book your strategy session with me today!

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