• Susie Aguilar

Fake It ’Til You Make It? Tips To Boost Your Confidence

Has your confidence been low and you’ve found yourself hesitating on taking action? I know I’ve felt that way many times in my life and career. If you’ve ever been told to “fake it til you make it”, I’m going to give you ACTUAL strategies today to implement that will boost your confidence and help you STOP pretending!

It’s time to stand up for ourselves, claim it, and build true genuine confidence. This is about you showing up for yourself and showing the world what an unstoppable woman you are.

Let’s continue the conversation in the She Embraces FEAR Movement group.

It’s a community for women who want to crush it in life and career by busting through the lies FEAR tries to tell us. I’ll answer your nerve-wracking questions and dive deeper on my tips to help you bust through your comfort zone. I’d love to see you there!

We are fierce women and we deserve to chase after what fuels us, now let’s do this!

Come on by and connect with me on:

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All My Love,

Susie Q

~ Prefer reading? Below is the full show transcript ~

Hey ladies, it's Wisdom Wednesday, and I hope that you're having an awesome week. I wanted to talk today a little bit about confidence. Have you ever felt that your confidence has been low and you've found yourself hesitating on taking any action? I know that I felt that way many times in my life and in my career, if you've ever been told to "fake it 'til you make it", I'm going to give you actual strategies today to implement that will boost your confidence and help you with no longer having to pretend. Come on in and let's jump into the show.

Who's ready to boost their confidence. I know that there have been times where I just feel completely burnt out or feeling really low as far as how things are going in life or in my career, or just in general. Right? Sometimes we just get into a funk is what I call it. And the tips that I want to offer you today are a few things that you can implement that will help you with boosting your confidence and to getting you to a point where you are showcasing what a phenomenal woman you are. That's what we're all about here. And I'm going to help you in that journey.

The first thing I want you to think about is doing something that I call self-discovery here. I want you to think about your talents, desires and what you naturally are good at and actually enjoy. These are things that we need to uncover right off the bat, because you need to know where your strengths are and what things you can really hone in and focus on because whatever we focus on is what grows, right? We've talked about that before on the show, and this is a great time for you to sit down, you know, me and journaling and getting a piece of paper and writing it out. But if you're an electronic person, by all means, do that.

I always share with you to grab a piece of paper and write it out or a notebook, whatever you have handy, because we tend to retain things that we physically write out much more than just typing it into a screen, because think about it, you type it on your computer and you don't look at it ever again, but the notebook, you might keep it out in front of you. You might use it over and over for different things. That's why I love to push the idea of you writing these things out. You can grab a simple 99 cent planner at the dollar store. Go ahead and grab it and just write these things as you're journaling out. But again, I digress self-discovery is what we're going to talk about.

Uncovering those things that you're really good at. I want you to focus on that because we want to think about what are the things that I can do to boost my confidence. Well, we need to look at the good stuff, right? We need to not all always feel that negative Nellie vibe that can sometimes happen to us. So here we focus on the good stuff in the self-discovery process.

The next thing that we're going to do is go ahead and you're going to journal and reflect on these questions that I have for you:

  1. What do I really want? This is where you're gonna dig deep and think about, okay, if I am not feeling confident about something, well, why is it that I am not feeling confident about it? Is it because what I want feels so far out of reach that I don't know how to get there. So, we need to understand what it is that you want in order to be able to work through this. Let's talk that through and write it out.

  2. Next thing is, I want you to think about something that you are proud of, that you have done and accomplished in your life. It could be something very small to something very big, but we're going to highlight all these good things that have happened in our life that we contributed to, that we accomplished and got done.

  3. The next thing that I want you to ask yourself is what would you do today if you had all the confidence in the world? What about six months from now? A year from now? So again, what would you do today if you had all the confidence in the world? Don't limit yourself here. I don't want you to be like, Oh, I would do this, but I can't because blah, blah, blah, whatever that reason is, we're not focusing on that. We are focusing on the good stuff. Again, I'm going to say that til I'm purple in the face, but it's true. We want to think about these things from a good perspective, so that we can start to build and boost that confidence.

  4. The fourth question you're gonna ask yourself is how can I maintain a positive attitude? That looks different for everyone. Some people prefer, you know, maybe you're reading a book or getting in a community with likeminded individuals. That's great. Find something that speaks to you.

  5. The fifth thing I want you to ask yourself is what would I do if I had no limits? And I'm talking about anything from in your life to maybe you're relocating. Maybe you're switching your career. Maybe it's a relationship you have. It doesn't matter what aspect of life that you focus on, but I want you to dig deep and think about what would you really want to do. Maybe you want to be a person that travels the world as a career. What's stopping you? Why are you putting a lid on your own success, your own potential? There's no reason to stop short of what your goal is. So this is a time that we're going to be very openminded and we're going to say, we want to do to X thing, because that's where our desire is. That's where our objective is to go in that direction. I don't want you to set a limitation because the moment that we set a limitation, then we're not even going to truly attempt to go for that thing. This is the time for you to truly hone in, focus down, and we're going to start making some progress here in these areas.

  6. BONUS - And then this one is a fun bonus question that I have for you that I thought of as I get ready every week as part of my own planning process. And that is, I want you to think about what is one of your favorite confidence boosting songs? Yes. You heard that right, a song. I know everyone probably has different preferences of music, or maybe don't even like music. I get that. Maybe find a poetry piece or something that speaks to you that is inspiring and motivating for yourself. The reason why I say a song is because there's something about a tune and a beat and the movement that sometimes happens when you hear the rhythm of that song. So that's what I want you to think about is what is a song that really just pumps me up and makes me feel like a strong woman. One for me this week, because I've been fighting distraction. I've been fighting my own limitations this week. And I picked my theme song for this week is called fight song. It actually is called fight song. And to me it just represents, you know, me having the strength to keep pushing forward. Even though sometimes I want to give up, even though sometimes I want to slow things down a little bit, or I think now maybe I shouldn't really work that hard towards that goal. Absolutely not. I'm not limiting myself anymore and neither are you. And that's what we're here to do together. So I really want you to just pick a favorite song, choose something that inspires you, that the words just resonate for you or you like the beat and the tunes. And it just speaks to you.

So pick your song and then let me know. I would love to hear from you if you're like, Oh my gosh, yes, this is such a great idea. I would love to do that. And this is my song for the week or for the month, whatever works for you. Tag me on Instagram stories and I would love to be able to chat about the different songs and themes that we pick ourselves to boost our confidence.

And I have two more things for you here.

The next one is I want you to get a little bit of a different perspective and not just your own, because it's so easy to be our own worst critics. You know what I'm talking about here, right? Is that we are harsh on ourselves. And this is where I want you to get someone else's perspective that you trust. That will be honest with you, and that will highlight those things. What you're going to do it was asked this person to just observe and share with you. What are some of the things that you're really good at. Once they give you those answers, honestly, make a list. I did this, or I have done this several times myself. I picked people in my family. I picked people who were close friends. I picked colleagues and I did it multiple times with different people. Then I just wrote a list and it was amazing to me, some of their observations they had that were completely different than my own. That I would have never said was a strength of mine that they saw as something that I excelled. It was very eye opening. So sometimes we need to ask someone from the outside in to say, Hey, can you tell me, the things that you think I'm good at or that you've seen me do really well at and share that with me. Cause I'm just trying to do a little bit of a self-inventory here and trust me, they will more than likely have no problem whatsoever showering you with love and giving you some ideas to keep in mind.

And the last thing that I have for you is I want you to do one thing every single day that highlights or reminds you of your own strengths. What it's going to do is it's obviously going to boost your confidence and it's going to make you feel really positive. It's going to help us with that optimistic mindset that I talk about a lot here. A couple examples for you to keep in mind is you could write down an affirmation that really just speaks to you directly and that you love to read or to write out every single day and then share a win with a loved one or a friend of yours that you have every single day so that they can keep you accountable. And you're highlighting something that you've been working towards by sharing one of your wins for the day. And another thing that I like to do in reference to affirmations or quotes, I'm really a lover of finding some good quotes. And I have these little boxes that have affirmations and messages in them. And I use those. I pick a card whenever I just feel inspired or like I need a little bit of a pick me up and it really tends to help me out. It makes me think of things from a different perspective. So if you're ever looking for something like that, there's plenty of them available online. I really had a hard time. I was actually at the store looking for them in person and couldn't find them in the store. So I had to order online, but it's just something for you to keep in mind that it's going to be in your face, reminding you, and you're gonna do this practice daily to just highlight one thing. I want you to pick one thing that you felt that you accomplished, that was a positive thing. And that just helps you feel that strength and that boost of confidence.

And you know, me, I, as I just said, I love quotes. And I have a fun one for you today from the Aladdin movie. If you have kids or you've got family with little ones around you or not, or you're like me and my husband that we love to watch the kids movies anyway, because they're so good. And oftentimes there's a lot of adult innuendo and things for us to pay attention to as well. So we just love our, our kids' movies. And this actually was something that the genie said to Aladdin that caught my attention when we were watching it. And he said:

"The more you gain by pretending will mean the less you actually have."

Think about that. The more you pretend that you're confident or your fake it till you make it, as they say, what are we really gaining out of that? We're not gaining a whole lot, right? Because that's not our truth. That's not us being authentic. However, with these strategies that I'm sharing with you, you're gonna really deeply and truly feel connected to the level of confidence that you have because you're working on it and practicing it every single day. Think about our physical health journey. If we're walking every single day, we're gonna gain some momentum over time, right? Because we're practicing it and doing it daily. But if we just like once in a while, do a little walk here and there weren't our, body's not gonna gain any benefit in the long-term. So, we got to do a little bit, even if it's one minute, every day, 30 seconds, you know, however, whatever our strength level is at that moment, that's the same.

And it's applicable here for our confidence. You're not going to wake up every day, feeling confident. I sure as heck no I don't. And that's me being an optimistic person who tends to focus on these things a lot, but it doesn't mean that it always works out that way. That's why I really want you to get these daily practices in place with your affirmations, with a song that inspires you. And then you're going to work through the self-discovery and journaling activities I shared with you and just reflect on them. Pick one out every single week that you can focus on. And say, okay, this is the one I'm going to work on for the week, but it's a great opportunity for you to find ways to authentically build your confidence and not just feel like you're just doing it because someone told you it was a good idea to pretend we're not pretending around here, are we? We are strong, bold, confident women who have phenomenal things to do in this world.

And we are not stopping short of that goal. We are here to keep pushing forward and to always do things authentically ourselves in our own unique way. And I love to be a part of that journey with you. And I apologize if you hear Miss Wonka here in the background, just having her little hissy fit party and licking her paws because apparently she's mad at me. I apologize if you're hearing her in the background, but I do want to invite you to head on over to Facebook groups.

I have officially kicked off and launched the she embraces fear movement. It's a group for women who are ready to stop faking it, right? That's what we're talking about today. We're not here to pretend any longer. We are here to create a movement. We are embracing fear, facing it head on, making it our friend, and we are walking in this journey of being empowered women.

And I am so grateful to be on this journey with you. So I would love to have you come hang out with me and my sidekick Wonka over in Facebook, we'll be chatting all things, confidence, fear, pivoting in our careers. We are just being raw and authentic over there. And I would love to have you be a part of this community and this conversation. So please come join us and thank you again for tuning in. I appreciate you all being here and I hope that you have a great rest of the week. We will see you back here on Friday. Have a fantastic Wisdom Wednesday and we are signing off.

Hey Lovely ~ Before you go, are you wanting to dive deeper on how to embrace your fears and pivot in your life and career? I have free resources and tools for you!

  • Are you wanting to combat fear? If you said yes, grab your FREE simple handout today!

  • Something I share about is the importance of setting a foundation and boundaries in our life and career. We do that by identifying our values and I have a free worksheet you can download if you are ready to pinpoint them in either English or Spanish.

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